That awkward moment when you are sexually harassed by one of your neighbors.

I'm becoming disgusted with the world.  Last night, one of my neighbors left a truly creepy, sexually explicit note in my mailbox with a phone number, asking me to call or text him.  It was really frightening to me because in the note, the man (yes, he made his sex quite clear to me, thank you very much) talked about listening to me having sex.  He left this note somewhere between 9 PM and 3 AM, and my lights were on that whole time.  He didn't wait until it looked like no one was home to do this.  He left a phone number.  This man is not afraid of potential consequences for his actions.

I'm still not sure whether or not I want to file a complaint for harassment.  Yes, he deserves it, but it was mortifying enough having my landlord and the police read this note.  I don't particularly want any more people to read it.  The salt in the wound of sexual crimes:  the victim gets to experience shame and humiliation for things they didn't do.

This event just makes me realize to how great an extent women's lives are often littered with sexual violence.  No, this act wasn't violent--but it was intimidating, and it certainly lands on the spectrum of sexual violence.  Things like this aren't even that uncommon.  I mean, this was essentially the note equivalent of street harassment.  You know cat calling a woman in the street isn't actually going to win her over, but a part of you just wants to make sure she knows she's public property.  This was a lot like that--with the added component of destroying my sense of safety in my own home.  I'm 21 and this is the third person who has committed some form of sexual violence against me.  I'm a person who is informed about sexual violence, works with survivors, and tries my best to keep myself safe--and I've experienced this much violence.  What I'm realizing today is that experiencing sexual violence is not necessarily a one time occurrence, or even something that happens at clearly defined "moments" by obvious acts.  Our culture, our rape culture, makes sexual violence a part of life.  My life has been plagued by sexual violence, and, shit, I haven't even had it that bad.  Some people, mostly women, go through much worse.  What does that say about our culture?  Terrible, terrible things.  It says that women's bodies are property.  It says that sex is a weapon.  It says that women should expect violence to be committed against them, over and over again.

Stop the world, I want to get off.